Well, we got news yesterday that Calie will not have to go back to another hearing. She will just need to write a letter to the judge, saying that she is in agreement with the adoption. The social worker will help her with the letter, "soon", is what they said.
They also gave us more explanation on the problem in court. Calie said she was angry with the judge, because she asked too many questions. I can only guess what these question may have been, based on what other previously adopted children from Taiwan have said they were asked. The Taiwanese tend to treat the children like adults, expecting that they can understand all that is happening to them, and just accept it, like an adult (which I'm not sure even an adult would be real keen on being sent to a new culture, family and language, without some major apprehension). So, when children respond in a childlike way, they seem to be confused by this. The Taiwanese also are trained to be polite and follow whomever is in authority over them, without questions. It's their culture, which sometimes contrasts to what we (Westerns) would consider normal human behavior. Cultural differences are the most difficult aspects of international adoption, both during the adoption and once the child comes home, in my opinion.
We are also excited about our next Skype chat which is TOMORROW!! Yea, I'm so glad they didn't make us wait to talk to each other, when I think we all need the contact. Going a month without talking to her I don't think it good for us or her. We're hopeful that she will be getting over her anger at the court process and that we can help bring her back to the point of this whole thing - forever family!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Adoption - Joy and Loss
Well, our hearing was last night in Taiwan. We were fortunate enough to have a friend that lives in Taiwan and happens to be an attorney, attend the hearing and be our eyes and ears. We were hoping for good news, which actually, we got some, but also got "bad" news.
The good news first, the judge, whom we were told was very thorough were supportive of the adoption and OK with it, as was the court social worker. That's a huge relief!
Yun-Qing (Calie) isn't so sure, yet. I guess she still has questions and really what this tells me, is that she is still scared and nervous about being adopted. My visiting her I thought had taken care of any of her concerns, but evidently after I left, she went back to doubting. We also skyped with her just three weeks ago and she seemed very happy and didn't ask any questions, so I'm also wondering if the whole court scene was just too "official" and daunting looking for her.
The judge said that they would allow more time for her to accept the adoption and ask us the questions she still has. Our friend didn't say what the questions were, but I'm sure we'll be getting them on Tuesday, when our social worker at our US agency is back in the office.
My heart aches for her and for us, both. She has been through so much, and while we are so joyful in the adoption, for her it is loss of everything she knows. Loss of country, loss of friends, loss of family. Adoption is a beautiful thing, but also a hurting thing.
We will wait for our girl to be ready. We will wait as long as we need to wait. In God's time, not ours.
Blessings to all of you! Please have a wonderful Thanksgiving and hug all of your family members that are home for the holiday!
The good news first, the judge, whom we were told was very thorough were supportive of the adoption and OK with it, as was the court social worker. That's a huge relief!
Yun-Qing (Calie) isn't so sure, yet. I guess she still has questions and really what this tells me, is that she is still scared and nervous about being adopted. My visiting her I thought had taken care of any of her concerns, but evidently after I left, she went back to doubting. We also skyped with her just three weeks ago and she seemed very happy and didn't ask any questions, so I'm also wondering if the whole court scene was just too "official" and daunting looking for her.
The judge said that they would allow more time for her to accept the adoption and ask us the questions she still has. Our friend didn't say what the questions were, but I'm sure we'll be getting them on Tuesday, when our social worker at our US agency is back in the office.
My heart aches for her and for us, both. She has been through so much, and while we are so joyful in the adoption, for her it is loss of everything she knows. Loss of country, loss of friends, loss of family. Adoption is a beautiful thing, but also a hurting thing.
We will wait for our girl to be ready. We will wait as long as we need to wait. In God's time, not ours.
Blessings to all of you! Please have a wonderful Thanksgiving and hug all of your family members that are home for the holiday!
Friday, November 2, 2012
"New" Pictures of Calie
We received "new" pictures of Calie today! The reason for the quote marks is because these were taken when I was with Calie at the zoo and her orphanage, so basically, they're not new to me. However, they are new to you! So, I thought I'd share them with all of you followers. :)
Update on progress: They day after I returned home from Taiwan, I got an email from our agency that they had been notified by Chung Yi that the judge has scheduled our hearing, but had also said Rick and I need to attend the hearing, physically. Oh Boy! We had no idea that this was even a possibility, but found out that recently some of the judges had been telling the parents to come to Taiwan to take part in the hearing. Had we known this, we would have just waited and gone for the hearing and visited her then.
We asked our agency to have Chung Yi tell the judge that I had just been there to visit and taking another trip (3 trips by the time we would be done) was more than we could afford and would but a lot of stress on our financial situation. They responded about a week later that the judge was "sympathetic" to our situation and was not aware that I had just been there. She (the judge) requested we write her a letter stating our reasons for not wanting to come and also requested a report from the Chung Yi social worker, Alice, that had been with Calie and I all week. Photos of us together, was also requested. We had all of that in within another week or so and just this past week we confirmed that the judge is not going to require us to be at the hearing. Whew! As much as I would have liked to see her again, the cost would have added another $4,000 - $5,000 to our adoption costs.
So, our hearing date is Nov. 22nd, 2012! I can't wait to hear how things go. That will be Thanksgiving Eve for us, as they are 13 hours ahead of us on that date. Please at 8:00 pm on Nov. 21st, get on your knees and pray that God would bless that hearing and be with Calie, as she will have to testify that she wants to come to America and be part of our family. This could be pretty stressful for an 11 year old to be in court talking to a judge!
Tomorrow evening, we will have our first Skype session with Calie. Rick and Lily have never seen her live, so this should be fun. I can't wait to see her smiley face and ask her how she is doing, since I saw her. I miss her and so want her to just be here; part of our family and daily routine. Adoption is such an emotional roller coaster! I'm ready to get off and just go back to being a normal family not having to think about where my child is and what's she doing.
This is my smiley Calie!!
Update on progress: They day after I returned home from Taiwan, I got an email from our agency that they had been notified by Chung Yi that the judge has scheduled our hearing, but had also said Rick and I need to attend the hearing, physically. Oh Boy! We had no idea that this was even a possibility, but found out that recently some of the judges had been telling the parents to come to Taiwan to take part in the hearing. Had we known this, we would have just waited and gone for the hearing and visited her then.
We asked our agency to have Chung Yi tell the judge that I had just been there to visit and taking another trip (3 trips by the time we would be done) was more than we could afford and would but a lot of stress on our financial situation. They responded about a week later that the judge was "sympathetic" to our situation and was not aware that I had just been there. She (the judge) requested we write her a letter stating our reasons for not wanting to come and also requested a report from the Chung Yi social worker, Alice, that had been with Calie and I all week. Photos of us together, was also requested. We had all of that in within another week or so and just this past week we confirmed that the judge is not going to require us to be at the hearing. Whew! As much as I would have liked to see her again, the cost would have added another $4,000 - $5,000 to our adoption costs.
So, our hearing date is Nov. 22nd, 2012! I can't wait to hear how things go. That will be Thanksgiving Eve for us, as they are 13 hours ahead of us on that date. Please at 8:00 pm on Nov. 21st, get on your knees and pray that God would bless that hearing and be with Calie, as she will have to testify that she wants to come to America and be part of our family. This could be pretty stressful for an 11 year old to be in court talking to a judge!
Tomorrow evening, we will have our first Skype session with Calie. Rick and Lily have never seen her live, so this should be fun. I can't wait to see her smiley face and ask her how she is doing, since I saw her. I miss her and so want her to just be here; part of our family and daily routine. Adoption is such an emotional roller coaster! I'm ready to get off and just go back to being a normal family not having to think about where my child is and what's she doing.
This is my smiley Calie!!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Until We Meet Again...
Our last visit today.
For some reason, I seem to be at a loss for words. I don't know if I can really describe the thoughts I have tonight. I also forgot to take pictures. My mind was on leaving the whole time. It's not natural for a Mother to leave her child behind. Did I mention there's a typhoon headed toward Taiwan right now? And I won't be here to make sure she's OK.
On a better note, she said she loves me when we said our goodbyes and had a huge smile on her face. I told her I loved her too and would see her again, soon. At dinner tonight she gave me a card, and since I forgot to take any pictures of her, I took pictures of the card so you all could see it.
For some reason, I seem to be at a loss for words. I don't know if I can really describe the thoughts I have tonight. I also forgot to take pictures. My mind was on leaving the whole time. It's not natural for a Mother to leave her child behind. Did I mention there's a typhoon headed toward Taiwan right now? And I won't be here to make sure she's OK.
On a better note, she said she loves me when we said our goodbyes and had a huge smile on her face. I told her I loved her too and would see her again, soon. At dinner tonight she gave me a card, and since I forgot to take any pictures of her, I took pictures of the card so you all could see it.
Me, coming here, was the right thing. I'm so glad I listened.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Taipei Zoo
OK, I have to be honest, I'm exhausted!! This post will be rather short, just for that reason :)
Alice and I picked up Calie at 11:00 am and headed for Taipei. That consisted of a taxi ride to a bus stop, bus for 40 mins to a MRT (subway) Station. Then 4 stops to Taipei Main Station, which is the main transportation hub in Taipei. We met our friends, Brandon and Lidia, for lunch there and then Alice, Calie and I headed to the zoo. Back on the MRT, 3 stops, get off, transferred trains, and another 9 stops to the zoo. Then we walked the zoo for 2 1/2 hours and had to do the entire trip in reverse.
The thing you have to know is that Alice lives in Taipei, not far from the zoo. So this woman has been coming to Taoyuan, already three times, so that I could hang around with Calie. That means she did the trip, FOUR times today with the taxi, bus, MRT routine. The woman is a saint! You could take a taxi the entire way, but she doesn't want to spend my money. I reimburse her for the cost of each trip. Incredible! I was ready to just take a taxi back to Taoyuan, but she said, "Oh No, it costs $1000 NT each way". That's $30 U.S. dollars. What that woman did for me and Calie today was beyond the call!
We had a great time at the zoo. It was hot, not because of the temp. so much, but the humidity was insane. Calie hardly broke a sweat, but Alice and I were dying. The pandas were sure cute! I bought her a stuffed panda that was holding a heart the said "I Love You" on it. She loved it! Wouldn't put it down or even let me carry it for her. BTW -- you know how most kids won't carry things all day, and they somehow get their moms to carry it? Calie never once asked Alice or I to carry the stuffed panda, her umbrella or her jacket she had brought along. Then I bought her a bottle of iced tea, and she carried that too. We both offered to help her, but she just said she was fine.
I kind of forgot to take many pictures today, sorry!!
Alice and I picked up Calie at 11:00 am and headed for Taipei. That consisted of a taxi ride to a bus stop, bus for 40 mins to a MRT (subway) Station. Then 4 stops to Taipei Main Station, which is the main transportation hub in Taipei. We met our friends, Brandon and Lidia, for lunch there and then Alice, Calie and I headed to the zoo. Back on the MRT, 3 stops, get off, transferred trains, and another 9 stops to the zoo. Then we walked the zoo for 2 1/2 hours and had to do the entire trip in reverse.
The thing you have to know is that Alice lives in Taipei, not far from the zoo. So this woman has been coming to Taoyuan, already three times, so that I could hang around with Calie. That means she did the trip, FOUR times today with the taxi, bus, MRT routine. The woman is a saint! You could take a taxi the entire way, but she doesn't want to spend my money. I reimburse her for the cost of each trip. Incredible! I was ready to just take a taxi back to Taoyuan, but she said, "Oh No, it costs $1000 NT each way". That's $30 U.S. dollars. What that woman did for me and Calie today was beyond the call!
We had a great time at the zoo. It was hot, not because of the temp. so much, but the humidity was insane. Calie hardly broke a sweat, but Alice and I were dying. The pandas were sure cute! I bought her a stuffed panda that was holding a heart the said "I Love You" on it. She loved it! Wouldn't put it down or even let me carry it for her. BTW -- you know how most kids won't carry things all day, and they somehow get their moms to carry it? Calie never once asked Alice or I to carry the stuffed panda, her umbrella or her jacket she had brought along. Then I bought her a bottle of iced tea, and she carried that too. We both offered to help her, but she just said she was fine.
I kind of forgot to take many pictures today, sorry!!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
The Girl's Got Spunk!
I've been trying to capture what a monkey Calie is and I think I may have got this time. See the first photo, below. This is the fun girl I've been getting to know this week. :)
Today, because of the president of Taiwan visiting her orphanage, we didn't get the entire day, as we had hoped. So, Alice took us to the TaiMall, the largest mall in Taiwan. It's huge!! We went to the arcade and I think Calie might be quite good at basketball! We also played Air Hockey and a few other games. Then we walked the mall. They had a special Korean food event going on, on one of the floors, so the one picture is for Mindee - the lady with the pinkish dress, called a Hanbok, is a traditional Korean dress.
I also took Alice and Calie out for dinner at an American restaurant in the mall - Three Baboons. The food was quite good, and Calie loved the spaghetti and meatballs. I think she'll do OK on American food! They meal cost about $37 for the three of us. Alice thought this to be very expensive. I told her that the price is what we would expect to pay, so not to worry. Calie was also very proud that she only spent $6 on her meal. She's very frugal! Alice told me later that Calie was upset with her, because Alice told her, not to ask me to buy anything. Well, Calie was offended that Alice thought she had to be told this. Alice said, "she's very smart, so she thought I was treating her like a baby or someone that was not thoughtful". Alice said she apologized, and all was good after that.
Tomorrow is zoo day!
Today, because of the president of Taiwan visiting her orphanage, we didn't get the entire day, as we had hoped. So, Alice took us to the TaiMall, the largest mall in Taiwan. It's huge!! We went to the arcade and I think Calie might be quite good at basketball! We also played Air Hockey and a few other games. Then we walked the mall. They had a special Korean food event going on, on one of the floors, so the one picture is for Mindee - the lady with the pinkish dress, called a Hanbok, is a traditional Korean dress.
I also took Alice and Calie out for dinner at an American restaurant in the mall - Three Baboons. The food was quite good, and Calie loved the spaghetti and meatballs. I think she'll do OK on American food! They meal cost about $37 for the three of us. Alice thought this to be very expensive. I told her that the price is what we would expect to pay, so not to worry. Calie was also very proud that she only spent $6 on her meal. She's very frugal! Alice told me later that Calie was upset with her, because Alice told her, not to ask me to buy anything. Well, Calie was offended that Alice thought she had to be told this. Alice said, "she's very smart, so she thought I was treating her like a baby or someone that was not thoughtful". Alice said she apologized, and all was good after that.
Tomorrow is zoo day!
Friday, September 21, 2012
OK - Now it's Hot Here!!
Wow was it hot today! I took two showers and went through two sets of clothes. Before today, it had been in the mid to upper 70's, cloudy with occasional drizzle. Today the sun came out and so did the humidity! It was in the upper 80's, but with a 72% humidity, the" feels like" temp. was 96.
I decided this morning to be adventerous. I get up about 6 am each day (that's as long as the Melatonin will keep me asleep), and I didn't have to meet with Calie until 4:50 pm. That's a long day in a hotel room, so I took out my Taiwan guide book and found that there is a very old town not far from here and a huge waterfall. Well, I love waterfalls, so I went and asked how to get there. They told me to take a taxi, but I knew a 40 min. ride in a taxi wasn't going to be cheap. I told them I wanted to take the bus. They gave me directions, but said to get to the waterfall I'd have to change buses in Dasi (the old city) and to be careful, because there was only one bus back at 1:00 pm to Dasi from the waterfall.
OK, well, I did fine getting Dasi, which there are a bunch of photos I'll post, but after finding the bus station to Xiao Wulia, I chickend out. A nice young guy (possibly the only English speaking person in Dasi) walked me to the bus station, and asked about getting back, and again, he warned me not to miss the bus back, because there are no taxis and no hotels for you to stay in there. It's very remote. He asked me what I was doing in Dasi without being able to speak Mandarin. I just told him we Americans are a little crazy sometimes. He thought that was very funny, but shook his head in agreement. I didn't want to miss my meeting with Calie, so I decided not to risk missing the bus! I got on the bus back to Taoyuan. :)
Tonight's visit went very well, again. I brought her KFC, which she ate half of, and said she wanted to share the rest with her roomates. They LOVED the dried Cherries I brought with me from Traverse City the day before! She said they all thought they were candy.
I also decided to tell her about her new American name to see if she was excepting of it. It took her a couple of tries to say "Calie", but she said she liked it with a big smile on her face. Whew! I was wondering what we were going to do if she didn't. She also tried to say "DeMann", but that one was tough for her. That's going to take some practice!
Enjoy the photos! Taiwan doesn't have any FDA, so you'll get a kick out of the raw meat hanging outside in the heat!
I decided this morning to be adventerous. I get up about 6 am each day (that's as long as the Melatonin will keep me asleep), and I didn't have to meet with Calie until 4:50 pm. That's a long day in a hotel room, so I took out my Taiwan guide book and found that there is a very old town not far from here and a huge waterfall. Well, I love waterfalls, so I went and asked how to get there. They told me to take a taxi, but I knew a 40 min. ride in a taxi wasn't going to be cheap. I told them I wanted to take the bus. They gave me directions, but said to get to the waterfall I'd have to change buses in Dasi (the old city) and to be careful, because there was only one bus back at 1:00 pm to Dasi from the waterfall.
OK, well, I did fine getting Dasi, which there are a bunch of photos I'll post, but after finding the bus station to Xiao Wulia, I chickend out. A nice young guy (possibly the only English speaking person in Dasi) walked me to the bus station, and asked about getting back, and again, he warned me not to miss the bus back, because there are no taxis and no hotels for you to stay in there. It's very remote. He asked me what I was doing in Dasi without being able to speak Mandarin. I just told him we Americans are a little crazy sometimes. He thought that was very funny, but shook his head in agreement. I didn't want to miss my meeting with Calie, so I decided not to risk missing the bus! I got on the bus back to Taoyuan. :)
Tonight's visit went very well, again. I brought her KFC, which she ate half of, and said she wanted to share the rest with her roomates. They LOVED the dried Cherries I brought with me from Traverse City the day before! She said they all thought they were candy.
I also decided to tell her about her new American name to see if she was excepting of it. It took her a couple of tries to say "Calie", but she said she liked it with a big smile on her face. Whew! I was wondering what we were going to do if she didn't. She also tried to say "DeMann", but that one was tough for her. That's going to take some practice!
Enjoy the photos! Taiwan doesn't have any FDA, so you'll get a kick out of the raw meat hanging outside in the heat!
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